Two blogs in a week - what IS the world coming to? Life's been a ridiculous whirlwind of madness recently - production meetings, shoots and trips to London coming out of my ears, plus an ill-advised prop-buying mission has left me with a fridge full of low fat cheese spread that's stressing me out somewhat (don't ask. Seriously) - so I've taken a couple of days off to get some much-needed R&R. FYI, for me a 'day off' means only working for 6 hours, as opposed to the usual dawn 'til well past dusk and then some but, before you ask, no, I haven't done the washing up yet. Perhaps if I leave it long enough it'll achieve sentience, develop a sense of shame and clean itself up without my help. I can but dream...
Part of my 'milly fun-time' has been spent playing the newest Tomb Raider chronicle: 'Underwhelmed' (I know the box for the game says 'Underworld' but just trust me on this one). Now, I'm a huge fan of the Tomb Raider games - puzzles + killing mythical creatures really mashes my buttons - but not quite enough to warrant shelling out for a PS3 just yet, so I patiently waited until the title was released on PS2 instead. My patience was definitely NOT rewarded. Let's just say that either Eidos are delierately trying to force gamers to buy the new kit by releasing utterly unplayable games, or the programmers got a load of work experience kids in, said "make her boobies REALLY big this time" and then buggered off down the pub. The graphics are horrendous and worse than that, a bug in the game means you can't save your progress. Ever. Stop it, Eidos - you're just being greedy now. I'll get a PS3 when I've got the cash, ok? C'mon, you know I'm good for it.
The voiceovering is a bit much in this one, too. The cut sequence stuff is nice enough, despite all the villains apparently being made entirely of cheese, but the truly unncessary moaning noises Lara makes during the actual gameplay occasionally makes me think I've accidentally sat on the TV controller and my arse has selected a porn channel. All I'm asking you to do is just from one ledge to another, you tight-buttocked cow - there's no need to cry about it! Also, I HATE motorbike levels. Time after time I successfully navigated a maze of hair-raising icy mountain passes only to bump into a pebble on the side of the road, flinging Lara over the edge of a cliff to her untimely, ragdollish death. And what's with all the millions of giant swinging Thor hammers?! Is copying a pasting an existing room now an acceptable alternative to getting off your arse and actually designing a new one? And then just as I was gearing up, hammer of a god in hand, ready for the big boss fight... oh look, the game's over! I swear, the neighbours must think my poor fella's a victim of domestic abuse, the amount of swearing I did while completing that game. No wonder they're so nice to him.
Aside from getting PS2-related RSI, one of the things I've been busy with is the first ever shoot for Barely Human Productions, the film production company I run with Paul Hardy. We decided to go in all guns blazing, rather than start small, and the result is an 8-part comedy web series entitled 'SatNav Lifestyle', in which human beings rely on super-intelligent satnavs to guide them through all aspects of everyday life, from urination to dating. Needless to say it all goes horribly wrong when one woman decides to go it alone and I spent the first two days of the shoot last weekend blissfully making a total idiot of myself. There's nothing like squeezing a whole tube of Colgate into your mouth at once or standing by a lake in your pyjamas to make you realise that this acting malarkey's not quite as glamorous as people make out!
We had some fantastic people on the cast and crew for this shoot, all of whom either Paul or I had worked with before on other projects. Thanks to everyone on the team, but special shouts out to DRL and Joe Geraghty for being such top camera guys and bringing along the mahoosive crane for the street scene (quite the most ambitious shot I've ever seen attempted on a low budget film), fantastic 'Uncle' Nino for the much-praised catering, Dee for the amazing graphics work (CatNav was particularly popular), and to our two students from Coventry Uni, Luke and Alam who came along to help out, taking on continuity and boom-swinging respectively. I first met these two lads when I appeared in their student film a few months back and they displayed such a passion for film and a drive to push their production beyond the usual student level that I knew I had to invite them along to the Barely Human shoot. Paul and I intend to offer crew places to students on all our films as we believe that actually MAKING films with industry pros really is the best way to learn. Incidentally, I've been meaning to blog about student shorts for a long time. Maybe next month I'll actually pull my finger out. Finally, a HUGE thankyou to Huw and Chris of our sister company, Entanglement Productions, without whom 'SatNav Lifestyle' would not have been possible, and to next door's cat for not having her kittens in the house prior to filming.
Speaking of the Pinches and Bowen, exciting things are afoot with Entanglement Productions. Their first feature film, sci-fi blockbuster 'Schrodinger's Girl' (on which many of the SatNav Lifestyle crew first met) now has a US sales agent! I'll keep you posted with further details as and when but for now, congratulations, lads! You can find out more about the film at www.schrodingersgirl.com. Entanglement will also be joining Barely Human as part of 'Anomalab' - a collaborative group that specialises in weird and wonderful films and will be setting new content free on the mighty interwebs on a weekly basis. Anomalab's currently in its testing period but is already releasing some great stuff on iTunes via the Anomalab podcast and has a youtube channel where all the films can be viewed until the main website goes live. Which is going to be VERY cool, by the way. Next week's offering will be 'Homo-sapiens Sanguisugens' - a practical guide to dealing with vampires from the mysterious Ministry of Secrets. If you haven't seen it yet then go. Find. Now. Or subscribe to the podcast. Or both!
One final thing that's amused me recently: last Tuesday I spent the day in London working at the new Universal Pictures building, doing some voiceovery bits and bobs for Sci-Fi and new channel 'Diva' and amongst other things voiced a promo for a new series called 'Millionnaire Matchmaker'. Yes, apparently these days the mind-blowingly rich and famous aren't content with swimming in champagne and setting peasants on fire, now they want lurve too and they're willing to pay an understandably smug lady with perfect teeth hundreds of thousands of pounds to find it. What's wrong with match.com, eh? (Other dating websites are available). Personally, I recommend they ditch the dating agencies and just head for the nearest film set - that's where I found mine ;)
Right, I'm off to sharpen up the hacksaw and sell a couple of vital organs in order to buy a PS3. God of War 3'll be out in a month or so and there's nowt like swinging two glowing poi of death and murdering half the characters in the Oddessy to relax a girl. If anyone knows any good receipes involving cheese spread then I'm all ears.
Tatty bye,
Milly x
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