Sunday, 26 April 2009

Excuse me, did somebody order a LARGE HAMMER?

Two blogs in a week - what IS the world coming to? Life's been a ridiculous whirlwind of madness recently - production meetings, shoots and trips to London coming out of my ears, plus an ill-advised prop-buying mission has left me with a fridge full of low fat cheese spread that's stressing me out somewhat (don't ask. Seriously) - so I've taken a couple of days off to get some much-needed R&R. FYI, for me a 'day off' means only working for 6 hours, as opposed to the usual dawn 'til well past dusk and then some but, before you ask, no, I haven't done the washing up yet. Perhaps if I leave it long enough it'll achieve sentience, develop a sense of shame and clean itself up without my help. I can but dream...

Part of my 'milly fun-time' has been spent playing the newest Tomb Raider chronicle: 'Underwhelmed' (I know the box for the game says 'Underworld' but just trust me on this one). Now, I'm a huge fan of the Tomb Raider games - puzzles + killing mythical creatures really mashes my buttons - but not quite enough to warrant shelling out for a PS3 just yet, so I patiently waited until the title was released on PS2 instead. My patience was definitely NOT rewarded. Let's just say that either Eidos are delierately trying to force gamers to buy the new kit by releasing utterly unplayable games, or the programmers got a load of work experience kids in, said "make her boobies REALLY big this time" and then buggered off down the pub. The graphics are horrendous and worse than that, a bug in the game means you can't save your progress. Ever. Stop it, Eidos - you're just being greedy now. I'll get a PS3 when I've got the cash, ok? C'mon, you know I'm good for it.

The voiceovering is a bit much in this one, too. The cut sequence stuff is nice enough, despite all the villains apparently being made entirely of cheese, but the truly unncessary moaning noises Lara makes during the actual gameplay occasionally makes me think I've accidentally sat on the TV controller and my arse has selected a porn channel. All I'm asking you to do is just from one ledge to another, you tight-buttocked cow - there's no need to cry about it! Also, I HATE motorbike levels. Time after time I successfully navigated a maze of hair-raising icy mountain passes only to bump into a pebble on the side of the road, flinging Lara over the edge of a cliff to her untimely, ragdollish death. And what's with all the millions of giant swinging Thor hammers?! Is copying a pasting an existing room now an acceptable alternative to getting off your arse and actually designing a new one? And then just as I was gearing up, hammer of a god in hand, ready for the big boss fight... oh look, the game's over! I swear, the neighbours must think my poor fella's a victim of domestic abuse, the amount of swearing I did while completing that game. No wonder they're so nice to him.

Aside from getting PS2-related RSI, one of the things I've been busy with is the first ever shoot for Barely Human Productions, the film production company I run with Paul Hardy. We decided to go in all guns blazing, rather than start small, and the result is an 8-part comedy web series entitled 'SatNav Lifestyle', in which human beings rely on super-intelligent satnavs to guide them through all aspects of everyday life, from urination to dating. Needless to say it all goes horribly wrong when one woman decides to go it alone and I spent the first two days of the shoot last weekend blissfully making a total idiot of myself. There's nothing like squeezing a whole tube of Colgate into your mouth at once or standing by a lake in your pyjamas to make you realise that this acting malarkey's not quite as glamorous as people make out!

We had some fantastic people on the cast and crew for this shoot, all of whom either Paul or I had worked with before on other projects. Thanks to everyone on the team, but special shouts out to DRL and Joe Geraghty for being such top camera guys and bringing along the mahoosive crane for the street scene (quite the most ambitious shot I've ever seen attempted on a low budget film), fantastic 'Uncle' Nino for the much-praised catering, Dee for the amazing graphics work (CatNav was particularly popular), and to our two students from Coventry Uni, Luke and Alam who came along to help out, taking on continuity and boom-swinging respectively. I first met these two lads when I appeared in their student film a few months back and they displayed such a passion for film and a drive to push their production beyond the usual student level that I knew I had to invite them along to the Barely Human shoot. Paul and I intend to offer crew places to students on all our films as we believe that actually MAKING films with industry pros really is the best way to learn. Incidentally, I've been meaning to blog about student shorts for a long time. Maybe next month I'll actually pull my finger out. Finally, a HUGE thankyou to Huw and Chris of our sister company, Entanglement Productions, without whom 'SatNav Lifestyle' would not have been possible, and to next door's cat for not having her kittens in the house prior to filming.

Speaking of the Pinches and Bowen, exciting things are afoot with Entanglement Productions. Their first feature film, sci-fi blockbuster 'Schrodinger's Girl' (on which many of the SatNav Lifestyle crew first met) now has a US sales agent! I'll keep you posted with further details as and when but for now, congratulations, lads! You can find out more about the film at www.schrodingersgirl.com. Entanglement will also be joining Barely Human as part of 'Anomalab' - a collaborative group that specialises in weird and wonderful films and will be setting new content free on the mighty interwebs on a weekly basis. Anomalab's currently in its testing period but is already releasing some great stuff on iTunes via the Anomalab podcast and has a youtube channel where all the films can be viewed until the main website goes live. Which is going to be VERY cool, by the way. Next week's offering will be 'Homo-sapiens Sanguisugens' - a practical guide to dealing with vampires from the mysterious Ministry of Secrets. If you haven't seen it yet then go. Find. Now. Or subscribe to the podcast. Or both!

One final thing that's amused me recently: last Tuesday I spent the day in London working at the new Universal Pictures building, doing some voiceovery bits and bobs for Sci-Fi and new channel 'Diva' and amongst other things voiced a promo for a new series called 'Millionnaire Matchmaker'. Yes, apparently these days the mind-blowingly rich and famous aren't content with swimming in champagne and setting peasants on fire, now they want lurve too and they're willing to pay an understandably smug lady with perfect teeth hundreds of thousands of pounds to find it. What's wrong with match.com, eh? (Other dating websites are available). Personally, I recommend they ditch the dating agencies and just head for the nearest film set - that's where I found mine ;)

Right, I'm off to sharpen up the hacksaw and sell a couple of vital organs in order to buy a PS3. God of War 3'll be out in a month or so and there's nowt like swinging two glowing poi of death and murdering half the characters in the Oddessy to relax a girl. If anyone knows any good receipes involving cheese spread then I'm all ears.

Tatty bye,

Milly x

Thursday, 23 April 2009

If the hat fits...

A recent, slightly off-the-wall, photo shoot has made me think a lot about the public perception of beauty so I'd like to talk to you (or, more accurately, type AT you) today about looking perfect, femininity and why I think they're not all they're cracked up to be.

I've never been a girly girl. My dad was a car-building design/technology teacher who had no sons so, in an oh-so-predictable first child's display of daddy's girl-ness, I spent my childhood shunning pretty dresses and dolls (which I actually find a bit creepy) in favour of hour upon hour in my dad's grimy workshop. As a result I emerged into adulthood with some terribly useful skills - not only do I actually enjoy drinking cold coffee (a trait that particularly endears an actress to over-worked runners!) but I can weld, bricklay, do woodwork... I LOVE doing DIY or, more accurately, love STARTING DIY. But more than anything I love being able to fend for myself. Don't get me wrong, this is in no way a display of feminism, taking pride in not needing a man to do the tough stuff for me; it's simply independence. I've always been crap at delegating anyhow!

Yup, I was a proper tomboy, never happier than when I was up a tree in my pyjamas. However, there's always been a part of me that's watched with envious eyes as all the girly girls played with their dollies/makeup, clearly relishing in their femininity. I've never been conventional looking and was made accutely aware of this at the age of 7 when I observed my mother brushing my little sister's hair and telling her how pretty she was. I examined my reflection in the mirror, my feline green eyes and messy raven hair a stark contrast to my sibling's tumbling blonde locks and wide, long-lashed peepers. "Am I pretty, mummy?" I asked. Mum just chuckled and dubbed me "unusual". I peered at my reflection again. What the hell did 'unusual' mean?! I instinctively sensed it was not a good word. Obviously my mum didn't mean anything by what she had said but nevertheless I spent a great many years feeling at odds with my looks and slowly realised that, no matter how hard I tried, I was never going to be one of those unattainable visions of feminine perfection the boys all drooled over and treated like they were made of cut glass.

School plays were a particular sore point - I was almost always the villainess, the harlot or the worldly-wise old lady. I didn't like that one bit, in fact after being cast as Madame Armfeldt in a production of 'A Little Night Music' I made my parents swear not to come and see the show, so sure was I that I'd been horribly mis-cast. However, in a bizarre twist of fate it was my mother who once again changed how I viewed myself. "Who do you remember most vividly after you go to a panto", she asked me, "the princess or the wicked witch?" I was stunned. The answer was clear, plus the witch definitely looked like she was having more fun.

And so it was that I realised 'pretty' is definitely not the same thing as 'good' and began embracing character roles, and to my surprise have also been offered a great many female leads along the way. I've found it very heartening that over the past few years the public view of beauty, and what makes a real heroine, has changed somewhat. These days nobody wants to see a beautiful, brainless girl looking stunning all the time and relying on a man to sort out all her problems. Thanks mainly to Mr Media we're all made so aware of our own flaws that nobody can relate to a character who is utterly perfect, and the success of Bridget Jones et al. only serves to prove that nowadays a female heroine is all about the struggle - overcoming odds and ultimately being rewarded. Flouncy, giggling airhead romantic lead I may not be, but ass-kicking heroine who, for some odd reason, can't tie her own shoes? Now that I definitely CAN do.

The message to the female population is a strong one - it's our flaws that make us interesting and watch-able and 'unusual' is often better than 'pretty'. After all, if there are a hundred other actresses out there who look just like your lead then chances are nobody is going to remember the girl you just cast! I definitely think it's an attitude we should encourage in the younger generation - discover your so-called flaws and revel in them - they're what make you unique.

And so back to that photo shoot I was talking about. Despite being very happy to accept my flaws on film I've always had a bit of a fear of stills shoots. Moving images have a way of distracting me from the physical and concentrating on the acting and story but with photographs I have no such hidey-hole - I must face myself head on. Headshot sessions fill me with dread and I almost always hate 99% of the photos I walk away with. Luckily my dear friend Bo Davies is an excellent photographer and shares my taste for the unusual and slightly out there, so we arranged to do a preliminary character shoot so he could work out my angles before moving on to headshots at a later date.

I was horribly nervous beforehand but it turns out that if I approach a photo shoot in the same way as I would a film (that is to say, 'become' a character) all my nerves fly out of the window. Yes, all I needed was the right hat! I absolutely adore the shots we got that night and Bo seemed very happy with the results so we've several more, increasingly imaginative, shoots planned for the near future - hurrah!

Funnily enough the session with Bo not only totally cured my phobia of stills shoots but also did a huge amount to prepare me for the filming of Barely Human Productions' first ever web series, for which I spent a whole weekend making an absolute tit of myself. More news on that very soon but for now I'll simply add a behind the scenes photo to the end of this blog so you can see me making myself 'pretty'. Heheh...

Right, enough ranting and rambling from me. I hope you're all well and I'll definitely be blogging again soon, now that life's calmed down a wee bit. In the meantime, when you have a chance take a good ol' look in the mirror and find the bits of yourself that you don't like. Are they really flaws, or are you just 'unusual'? ;)

Take care. I'm going to fling on my PJs and head for the nearest tree!

Milly x

PS - you can feast your eyes on more of Bo's gorgeous work at www.myladylieswaiting.deviantart.com

PPS - thanks, Mum, for seeing me through those difficult years, for finally making me realise the truth and for sneaking into that production of 'A Little Night Music' without telling me. And also for whichever part of my scattered eastern european heritage gave me my eyes and rubbery face - they've come in rather useful recently! Love you x

Maybe shes born with it... maybe shes just a total idiot.Makeup scene - SatNav Lifestyle shoot - Day 1.

"Maybe she's born with it... maybe she's just a total idiot."
Making myself pretty on the set of 'SatNav'.

Dodger (Jammy).A bit Burton-esque, I think. This lady looks like she lives on gin.

My favourite from the shoot with Bo, mainly because I look so damned crazy!

Newtons Hat.

Another favourite from the Bo shoot, but looking a bit less mental.